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I was completely prepared for today: I would have my sixth appointment at the VU gender team. At first we had understood, that it would take a total of six appointments, before a decision would be made to give me the ‘green light’ for HRT (hormone treatment) and SRS (sex-change operation). But the last time, it sounded like the number of six was not so sure. Maybe I would be able to speed things up a little in today’s appointment.
But things turned out differently. While I was putting the garbage outside this morning, the phone rang. Julia started to a wake and picked up the phone. There was a woman on the phone explicitly demanding to talk to Evert Snel. “Ze * is still asleep“, said Julia: “Can I take a message? What is it about?” — “No, you cannot“, said the voice at the other end of the line shortly: “I’ll only discuss it with him personally. Can he call me back?” The woman on the phone didn’t say her name, until Julia explicitly asked for it. This is of course a very impolite way, to handle a phone conversation, so Julia said: “If you put it this way, nobody will call you back!”
In this story, I immediately recognized the gender team secretary’s way of working. I had similar experiences and I heard the same from other transsexuals. She is trying to protect the privacy of their customers, but she doesn’t do it in a subtle way.
I made some notes in my personal diary about my encounters with this lady, I would now like to share with you: A lady calls me at work, very explicitly asking for Mr. Evert Snel. Yes, that ‘is’ me. It turns out, she is from the gender team and wants to make sure, I still want to start their treatment. Yes, I do. But what un unusual way of asking for me. I had almost sent her about her business with un unfriendly remark. This is no way to speak to a transsexual! Again the same lady called from the gender team. And again she very explicitly asks for Evert Snel. Fortunately she left the word ‘mister’ out this time. This time, I make a remark about that. Not unfriendly, not angry, just inquiring, because it is so noticeably unusual. “But that’s you, isn’t it?” I cannot officially deny this…
January 20th., 2004: Gender team on the phone
February 26th., 2004: Appointments gender team
Yes, the gender team is trying to protect our privacy. But if you live completely as a woman, like I do, events like this only damage your privacy. I will soon start on a new job. Everybody will know me as Evelien from the very first day on the job. The last thing I need around there is a mysterious woman on the phone insisting she wants to talk to a man who is named suspiciously similar to me.
Anyway: It just hurts me to be addressed as a man.
Well, apparently, the gender team had something to tell me, so I rang them to check about my appointment. The doctor is ill, my appointment cannot take place today. It is a pity…
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