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Here you have it again: I was filling out a customer satisfaction questionnaire in our company restaurant. One of the questions was: What is your gender? [male] [female].
So I spontaneously said: “Here is that irrelevant question again!”
Whereupon a colleague, who still does not feel comfortable about my transition after more than two and a half years, said teasingly: “Don’t tell me you think gender is irrelevant!”
No, of course, my gender identity is very important to me. But that does not mean it should be written down on so many documents! That is a nuisance if you do not feel comfortable with the box people have assigned to you.
And it can be very problematic for people who do not fit in one of those narrow boxes, as is the case with many people. Remember: There are intersexed people out there to! All their live they are being forced into either one box or the other!
For transsexual the same is true. Of course I can NOW fill in proudly I am a woman on whatever document they give me (well, almost…) But there was a time, before I came ‘out of the closet’, when I detested this question and I now have a permanent aversion against it.
Laying down people’s gender on official documents has only disadvantages. Take gay marriage for example. If marriage had been defined as “a bond between two people” in the first place, there would not have to be any discussion about gay marriage. There would be nothing special about a marriage between two people of the same sex. Why was marriage defined as “a bond between a man and a woman” in the first place???
The definition of man and woman is vague. When is someone a woman?
- If she has XX-chromosomes? — In that case transsexual women are not women!
- If she has a vagina? — In that case a pre-op MtF is not a woman, but a post-op is!
- If she can have babies? — In that case infertile women are not women! Nor are women after menopause!!
- If she falls for men? — In that case lesbians are not women!
And I can go on like this. The point is: It is a MISTAKE to try to divide people between two boxes. It is a mistake to put people in any number of boxes. Let’s please stop doing that!
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