English
Nederlands
2005-09-15
Job Interview
For a long time I thought applying for a new job was out of the question for me. Everywhere I went, people made a problem of the way I looked. But lately this is steadily improving. I have learned a lot about clothing and make-up. Taking hormones, laser hair removal and sessions at the beautician's have made my face look a lot more feminine. And now that I even have modern, dignified clothing, there cannot be any obstacle in the way, right?
So I decided to try my luck. I sent my resume to an interesting company and I was invited for an interview. And today was the big day: My first job interview as a woman. I was not too nervous, less nervous than I used to be for job interviews in the past really, because I feel more happy with myself now.
The receptionist reacted very normally, as if there was nothing special to see about me and in the interview with the recruiter (a woman fortunately) the subject of transsexuality wasn't discussed at all initially. She talked about the history of the company and about the kind of work they are doing. And I spoke about my technical, process-oriented and management experiences.
But an interview like this always moves on the a more personal level at one point or another. She asked me: "Is there anything in your life you would do differently if you got a chance to do it all over again?" That is of course a very smart question to find out about the weak spots of a candidate.
I thought this was a good opportunity to bring the subject of my gender dysphoria into the discussion, so I replied: "Yes, you have no doubt noticed something special about me: I have changed from living as a man to living as a woman. I should have done that much earlier." A very clever response! I had countered her difficult question by mentioning a mistake I had corrected already, I had indicated that I was happy about my current situation and I had brought up this dangerous subject without using a word that has "sex" in it.
Well yes, she had noticed something about me, but personally she wasn't bothered by that. And she realized that someone who can handle such a dramatic change in life must have a strong personality.
"I think it is very brave to take a step like that."
"That is what many people say, but for me there was no other option. I think this should be your only option, otherwise you shouldn't do this."
"You make a good impression, don't you? Your voice sounds well, I think that must be very difficult."
"Yes, I have been doing speech therapy for a year now..."
"So how does such a transition work?"
"Actually you shouldn't ask me about that; I did almost everything wrong."
She liked my outfit too:
"What a nice skirt; elegant!"
"Thank you! Yes we bought it at the most classy department store in town..."
Our conversation ended in a very pleasant atmosphere. Now we will have to wait and see whether I will be invited for a second interview.
But even if there won't be a second interview, I have already gained a lot with this action: It has increased my self-confidence. Even in my current job this can be useful: I have learned I am not as dependent on my current employer as I thought: If they give me too hard a time, I can simply take another job. In other words I don't have to let them sit on me!
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So I decided to try my luck. I sent my resume to an interesting company and I was invited for an interview. And today was the big day: My first job interview as a woman. I was not too nervous, less nervous than I used to be for job interviews in the past really, because I feel more happy with myself now.
The receptionist reacted very normally, as if there was nothing special to see about me and in the interview with the recruiter (a woman fortunately) the subject of transsexuality wasn't discussed at all initially. She talked about the history of the company and about the kind of work they are doing. And I spoke about my technical, process-oriented and management experiences.
But an interview like this always moves on the a more personal level at one point or another. She asked me: "Is there anything in your life you would do differently if you got a chance to do it all over again?" That is of course a very smart question to find out about the weak spots of a candidate.
I thought this was a good opportunity to bring the subject of my gender dysphoria into the discussion, so I replied: "Yes, you have no doubt noticed something special about me: I have changed from living as a man to living as a woman. I should have done that much earlier." A very clever response! I had countered her difficult question by mentioning a mistake I had corrected already, I had indicated that I was happy about my current situation and I had brought up this dangerous subject without using a word that has "sex" in it.
Well yes, she had noticed something about me, but personally she wasn't bothered by that. And she realized that someone who can handle such a dramatic change in life must have a strong personality.
"I think it is very brave to take a step like that."
"That is what many people say, but for me there was no other option. I think this should be your only option, otherwise you shouldn't do this."
"You make a good impression, don't you? Your voice sounds well, I think that must be very difficult."
"Yes, I have been doing speech therapy for a year now..."
"So how does such a transition work?"
"Actually you shouldn't ask me about that; I did almost everything wrong."
She liked my outfit too:
"What a nice skirt; elegant!"
"Thank you! Yes we bought it at the most classy department store in town..."
Our conversation ended in a very pleasant atmosphere. Now we will have to wait and see whether I will be invited for a second interview.
But even if there won't be a second interview, I have already gained a lot with this action: It has increased my self-confidence. Even in my current job this can be useful: I have learned I am not as dependent on my current employer as I thought: If they give me too hard a time, I can simply take another job. In other words I don't have to let them sit on me!
Comments:
Evelien, I wonder about two things.
First, are you at all concerned about your current employer finding out from your web site that you are interviewing?
Second, do you think it is wise to out yourself during interviews? there is much discrimination in the world and it does not necessarily follow a formula. Peole have been very pleasant to me until they find out I am TS, at which point their attitude changes. Invitations stop coming. Phone calls stop. Subtle changes let me know I am not wanted any more.
Fortunately, my current employer seems to realize thast I am harmless, but I dread having to find another job. I am concentrating on making the most from the one I have since my current employer has been supportive. I cannot count on that from anyone else and I do not have a marketable business plan of my own, plus I have children to support. I have no plans to out myself in my next job interview but I will readily acknowledge my status if asked.
First, are you at all concerned about your current employer finding out from your web site that you are interviewing?
Second, do you think it is wise to out yourself during interviews? there is much discrimination in the world and it does not necessarily follow a formula. Peole have been very pleasant to me until they find out I am TS, at which point their attitude changes. Invitations stop coming. Phone calls stop. Subtle changes let me know I am not wanted any more.
Fortunately, my current employer seems to realize thast I am harmless, but I dread having to find another job. I am concentrating on making the most from the one I have since my current employer has been supportive. I cannot count on that from anyone else and I do not have a marketable business plan of my own, plus I have children to support. I have no plans to out myself in my next job interview but I will readily acknowledge my status if asked.
Hi Cheryl,
thank you for your comments. As to your questions:
1: Yes, of course I have hesitated whether to put this out on the Internet. There is no law against looking for a new job, but employers usually are 'not amused' if you do. My employer however really needs this 'wake-up call' before it is too late. My competences have been systematically underestimated ever since I changed sex. I have been reduced from a high potential into an unaesthetic-looking drone. This down-going spiral has to end and I think if they realize I am still (or again) very employable, they will value me again.
2: I cannot have my official, legal sex-change until I have had my operation. This means that at least the human resources department of any employer will have to know about this to send the correct data to the IRS (well, the Dutch equivalent of the IRS, really). I have discussed the issue of job interviews with many other transsexuals and my conclusion was that it is best to be open about it in the first interview. If people have the impression there is 'something odd' about a candidate they are likely to avoid the risk of hiring you. If you tell them what is the matter with you it is no longer 'something odd', it is simply one of the factors they can take into consideration. While telling them you can also educate them about the issue so that they can get a more clear image of what are the consequences of hiring a transsexual.
3: I don't want to be seen as 'harmless', I want to be a valued employee: Enthusiastic, critical, productive. I don't want to go in the underdog-role of 'please let me keep my job cos I cannot get another one'. I sure dreaded applying for another job, but this was a fear I needed to conquer in order to regain my self-esteem. I want to feel the strength to take on the right attitude in life, including the workplace.
Love,
Evelien
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thank you for your comments. As to your questions:
1: Yes, of course I have hesitated whether to put this out on the Internet. There is no law against looking for a new job, but employers usually are 'not amused' if you do. My employer however really needs this 'wake-up call' before it is too late. My competences have been systematically underestimated ever since I changed sex. I have been reduced from a high potential into an unaesthetic-looking drone. This down-going spiral has to end and I think if they realize I am still (or again) very employable, they will value me again.
2: I cannot have my official, legal sex-change until I have had my operation. This means that at least the human resources department of any employer will have to know about this to send the correct data to the IRS (well, the Dutch equivalent of the IRS, really). I have discussed the issue of job interviews with many other transsexuals and my conclusion was that it is best to be open about it in the first interview. If people have the impression there is 'something odd' about a candidate they are likely to avoid the risk of hiring you. If you tell them what is the matter with you it is no longer 'something odd', it is simply one of the factors they can take into consideration. While telling them you can also educate them about the issue so that they can get a more clear image of what are the consequences of hiring a transsexual.
3: I don't want to be seen as 'harmless', I want to be a valued employee: Enthusiastic, critical, productive. I don't want to go in the underdog-role of 'please let me keep my job cos I cannot get another one'. I sure dreaded applying for another job, but this was a fear I needed to conquer in order to regain my self-esteem. I want to feel the strength to take on the right attitude in life, including the workplace.
Love,
Evelien
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