Diary

I heard some people were a bit embarrassed about my last column, because it was about the operation I underwent for a medical problem people normally don’t speak about. Yes, that is a taboo to, just like transgenderism! Why not kill two taboos with one stone? But let’s just stick to one taboo this time…

After my operation it took me quite some time to recuperate. Two weeks later a very good friend of mine celebrated his birthday, but I couldn't come. I hadn't left the house yet.

Julia did go to the party and she had a great time. She met a former colleague of mine there.
Colleague? Yes, it was even more than that. At the time I was a project leader and he was one of the members in my team. So there you have it: Once upon a time I was somebody's 'boss' to! I don't expect that to happen so easily again...

But I was a different person at the time. Or so it seemed. I went to work wearing a neat suit and a tie every day. If you do that, you are trusted to take on a responsible job. Your knowledge and experience don't really matter that much, as long as you have a 'professional' appearance. That's the way it is in the World we live in...

This brought back a lot of memories to me. The period I am talking about now must have been around 1997. I was driving around in a posh leased car and stayed in a hotel on weeknights, all at the expense of the company. At the time I was making a real effort of being (or becoming) a Real Man. I also went for a 1500 meter swim every night in the hotel pool to become stronger and more masculine.

Of course I was living a lie. I am very good at that. But this life didn't make me happy. Maybe it was even partially in reaction to being 'sir-ed' all the time, that I started to wear women's clothing more and more often in the safe privacy of my hotel room during the same period...

So in those days the clothing I wore at work gave me an unfair advantage. But nowadays my clothing has an opposite affect. When I came out as transsexual woman, it didn’t seem a problem at all. It was accepted at work…
But I can feel clearly something has changed. And it hasn’t changed in the way I expected. I was hoping people would treat me as a lady from that day on. But they don’t! They are treating me as a woman alright, they are treating me like a maid!

So this is the discrimination women are facing in the workplace. If you have seen both sides, like I have, it is so clear! And it hurts! It looks like I will be missing many more parties in the future, just because I am who I am.


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